Tony DuShane, Writer/Podcaster/Teacher: I used to write everything with an Oscar speech planned and that Oscar speech, it wasn’t who I was going to thank, it was who I hated.
Film Courage: How did fear of success almost ruin your writing career?
Tony: Oh, fear of success ruins my writing career every day! There’s multiple fears, there’s fear of success, there’s fear of failure and I think I still self-sabotage myself. I have to get into a world of (it’s a weird world) delusion whereas I know I’m writing the greatest thing ever told to man and through all of human history except it’s also a piece of crap at the same time. I guess there’s fear of success and fear of failure. I used to write everything with an Oscar speech planned and that Oscar speech was more…it wasn’t who I was going to thank, it was who I hated and I was just going to bring all my resentments out. It’s silly and it’s absurd to think about but it would be fun to do an Oscar speech but then you kind of look at it and it would be really fun to go to the Oscars. But yeah, fear of success. It’s weird because I’ve had very minor success. I feel grateful for the success I’ve had but in my very minor success it’s sometimes a little disconcerting or where it’s just like Oh, crap. Yeah, that’s out there for people to see and I forget. At the same time that’s wonderful so what a bourgeois problem that is.
Film Courage: Do you almost feel guilty if things go well for you?
Tony: What? Yes. Oh my…(Watch the video interview on Youtube here).
Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk by Tony DuShane – Check out the book on Amazon:
BIO:
Tony DuShane is the author and award-winning screenwriter of Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk. The book was published by Soft Skull Press and the feature film, directed by Eric Stoltz, was released in 2018 and is currently streaming on Amazon Prime. His journalism and essays has appeared in The Los Angeles Times, Mother Jones, Penthouse, The Rumpus, The Believer, and other media outlets. He teaches writing at UCLA Extension and his journalism has appeared in Mother Jones, The Los Angeles Times, and San Francisco Chronicle. He hosts the literary podcast Drinks with Tony every Wednesday.
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