Watch the video interview on Youtube here
Film Courage: Often my litmus test for someone who is negative is I see where they are. And I usually see that people who are positive are in a good spot. And (for me) I would experience a lot of people who would brag…and you’re right…it’s always in a way that is done [with bragging] and then you find out many years later “Oh, now I see why?” Because the ones that are affirming and positive are usually not in a bad situation. And so that’s how…I don’t know if this has worked for you…but that is how I’ve been able to see who is positive and worth spending time around. I know Author Julia Cameron calls it a ‘poisonous playmate’ and I love that term.
Robin Riker: Oh! Yes! That’s a very good one. And in the ‘Beware of the Soul Eaters’ chapter in the book I talk about you have these people in your lives and they’re your girlfriends or your guy friends, whatever. And you’ll always notice when you go meet for drinks or whatever it will be “So how are you doing?” She says to you or he says to you. And you say two sentences and before you know it, you’ve spent 15 minutes talking about her or him. They don’t really engage to find what is happening with you for real. They open with that. But then it all comes back to them. And you know, identify those people in your life and if you think that they are a valuable person and you would like to keep them, talk to them about a lopsided relationship as far as your communication goes. And if they want to make an effort to change, wonderful. And if not, minimize your experience with them because you don’t want to hang out with anyone who leaves you feeling worse than when you got there to meet them, you know?
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Film Courage: Right. And I think it’s a real skill to know who those people are. And sometimes you end up saying to yourself, “You know what…I still enjoy their company. I am going to know that this is how the relationship is and to keep anything that is good to myself because I don’t want to be soured.” [Laughs]
Robin Riker: Yes! Absolutely! Absolutely! They can taint it. Don’t get that on me. I don’t want that so keep that to yourself. So I am keeping my good news to me because you’re my martini friend for today. That’s what I am doing today. I am not sharing my precious things with you because they are not valued, they are not treated with regard.
Film Courage: Sure. People, places and things. You just kind of know “Okay you’re my martini friend or coffee friend or whatever it is and I am going to minimize anything that I don’t want to have tainted.
And why do you think it is that way in this town? People say that they want other people to do well and I think that there are people who do encourage that for other people. And then there are others that don’t. How do you know when to keep good news to yourself? And I know that sounds really negative and I don’t mean to be so…
Watch the video interview on Youtube here
Robin Riker: No! No it doesn’t. You share the good news with the people that you trust and that love you and are rooting for you, who are the same people for when you have a bad day and you say “Oh, this didn’t work” or whatever it is they commiserate with you for a minute and then they kick you in the ass and say “On to the next. Oh yeah, that must have been disappointing but you know, there is tomorrow!”
Listen, nobody gets your job. You get your job (Watch the video on Youtube here)
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