Film Courage: Here is the look at yourself in the mirror question “Are you really ready?” What are some tough questions that you have to ask yourself? Because we all think we’re ready. We wouldn’t come here or we wouldn’t (whether we grew up here or not) try to do something where we don’t think…our ego thinks we’re ready…but maybe we’re not. How do we know?
Author Carole Kirschner: That’s a really good question, how do you know? You know if you’re getting the kind of responses that you’re looking for, if people are interested in you, if people want to help you, if doors are opening for you. If your material (again, if you’re a writer) is blazing hot, not “this is like a really good draft. I’m going to do another one. But I’m going to send out this one because it’s really good. I can do better, but this is really good.”
You have one shot. So if your material isn’t there yet…I know very smart people who have fantastic connections, but they are not sending out their material until they know that it’s great. Until they know that it’s blazing hot.
So if you’re not getting people who want to help you, people who want to open some doors for you, if you’re not getting positive responses, then you’re probably not ready yet.
Film Courage: Okay, let’s take a little bit of a twist, let’s suppose you are getting all of these green lights from people but there is something in you sabotaging it.
Carole Kirschner: Oh…yes.
Film Courage: Do you see this a lot?
Carole Kirschner: I have seen it. I’ve absolutely seen it. In my book I talk about a young woman and it was really sad. She was a waitress in Malibu. She was an aspiring actress and her idol came into the restaurant where she worked and she happened to be in her section and this young woman struck up a conversation with her idol. And her idol said “What do you do?” And she said said “I’m an aspiring actress.” And her idol said “Well, you know what? I’m shooting in Los Angeles, why don’t you come and visit the set tomorrow?”
And the waitress said “Oh my God! That would be amazing. Thank you so much!”
She was so excited. She went out with her friends the night before. She drank too much. She set her alarm clock but not for the right time. She woke up hungover. She woke up too late. And she totally sabotaged herself because emotionally she wasn’t ready for it. And it’s heartbreaking when you see that.
Film Courage: What are some things that you see…I mean that’s a great example. I’ve seen people who have done stuff like that. I think that it’s because they are scared but they don’t want to admit it. What are some of the things that you can see like….ahhh…that’s the sabotage sort of veil working there.
Carole Kirschner: Sure, let me think about that. I think if somebody is being obnoxious or too pushy, that is certainly a way to sabotage yourself. If your material isn’t ready and you’re sending it out. And another way to sabotage yourself is everybody is on social media all the time. If your digital profile is not professional, that’s a way to sabotage yourself.
I once was looking to hire an assistant and this woman had a great resume, but I looked on her Facebook page and her profile picture was her, at a party, with her sleeve kind of off, holding a red cup. And I thought I can’t hire this woman? And she had a great resume but I wouldn’t hire her because she wasn’t professional and she didn’t have common sense that you don’t do that.
Let me think of what else it might be…when you don’t deliver on what you say you’re going to do. That is a huge thing. If you make promises that you can’t keep, that’s totally sabotaging yourself. It’s better to oversell and underdeliver.